Your mind can try do tricks on you

Happy New Years everyone

I hope everyone had a safe and fun celebration. I had fun and a laugh but not the night I had planned. Last night my friend Ashlee came to my house at 6:30. We tested out the pizza maker I got for Christmas from my mum and it was amazing. At 8:50 we went to Dandenong to watch the fireworks then we were going to Daveys afterwards. At Dandenong as I got out of my car, Ashlee was shutting the boot when she hit her head on it and started bleeding. After we watched the fireworks, we were off to Frankston Hospital, unexpectedly the emergency department was dead. We were in and out in 56 minutes. Ashlee had a cut, headache and a concussion. We took a selfie from the hospital with Ashlee’s big ass band aid to wish everyone Happy New Year.


Then we went home and I was in bed by 11:30. We had a few laughs. I am not having a good run with carers firstly when I was stuck upstairs at Hoyts with a new carer then this. We always have a laugh about the situations.

This is why I want to talk to you about this. In bed I was just thinking about things when I had a horrible thought. Did I really do the right thing hiring Ashlee? The two things she has done wrong - are cancel a shift 3 weeks ago because she were sick (she really was sick), she still came over for a chat and last night when she hit her head. Both incidents were accidents it wasn’t her intention to let me down. Apart from these 2 incidents, Ashlee has been great. Despite this for a second I doubt myself. My next breathe I was more angry and upset at myself for thinking that even for a spilt second. While others like Stuart’s family would love to have Stuart back, I was a bit disappointed I didn’t make it out for New Year Eve because of a freak accident. Stuart is a mate of mine who died of cancer 2 and half years ago. He left a wife and 2 kids behind.  Also I know someone else who died last month from cancer. Julia Waston left a husband and 4 kids behind including a disabled kid. She wrote a book about her battle with cancer. You should check it out:


The truly sad part is that I never believed I made the wrong choice, it was just a thought which popped up in my head. If someone like me who truly has an amazing life can have thoughts which I don’t believe in. It makes me think about the people who are really struggling or who have a mental health illness and what they might be dealing with. You can never put yourself in someone else’s shoes. You never can totally understand someone’s history, feelings and thoughts. We can try our best to understand what problems someone is going through and try to help them. 

If you are going through something it is completely fine to ask for some help. You may be able to talk to a close family member or friend while others feel more comfortable talking to complete strangers. Otherwise you can get some professional help.

These are some numbers you can ring:

·         Suicide Hotline: 1300 651 251

·         Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14

·         Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636

·         Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800

Sometimes the hardest part is to find someone you trust to talk to.

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Remember only you can change you!!